How To Quit Your Job

On my last day at my current law firm, I thought it fitting to write a step-by-step guide of how to best quit your job.

Step 1: Get a new job.

Step 2: Plan to give your old job more than 2 weeks notice, you know, because you care.

Step 3: Get too nervous to tell your boss that you're quitting that you end up telling them exactly 2 weeks before you are leaving.

Step 4: Rehearse the break up conversation over and over again in your head and come up with potential responses to potential questions (or do only lawyers do this?)

Step 5: Walk into your boss' office and close the door while simultaneously saying "Hey [boss name] can I talk to you?"

Step 6: Have the difficult conversation about how you accepted another offer and also state your last day.

Step 7: Rejoice in freedom that you got the conversation over with.

Step 8: Prepare to continuously field questions and comments about how you are leaving "too soon."

Step 9: Send out emails to clients stating your last day and ensuring that they will still be taken care of and that you will do all you can in the meantime. Forget about some clients until the last day.

Step 10: Start slowly packing your mugs, pens, tea bags, medicines, contact solution, extra makeup, extra shoes, mirrors, coasters away and also contemplate why you have so much stuff everywhere and not just your apartment. Take things home day by day so you don't need to walk out with a box like on TV.

Step 11: Spend all of your last day at work trying to figure out how to extend your insurance coverage through COBRA (spoiler alert: still haven't figured it out but I apparently have 60 days to do so and in those 60 days I should already get coverage from my new firm).

Step 12: Gaze out your window at the view you'll surely miss someday.

Step 13: Wipe all traces of your extracurricular work activities. I'm talking delete your browser history, cookies, trash your desktop, empty your trash. Don't forget about your downloads and documents. Those folders are sneaky.

Step 14: Draft a "Last Day Memo" internal email detailing the projects you are in the middle of working on and what still needs to be done.

Step 15: Bring a bag big enough to bring home those diploma frames you never put up.

Step 16: Walk around the office to awkwardly say goodbye not knowing if the person is going to try to hug you or not.


As always, please let me know if you have any questions or concerns. It's been a pleasure working with you (in all my emails today lol).


No comments