7:29pm: Made some fried rice, avoiding checking both instagram and twitter because of the East Coast spoilers. Writing in this blog to stay distracted so I guess that's the silver lining. Turning on live tv on the ABC app so I don't miss a thing.

7:38pm: Had a minor freakout because I thought my wi-fi wasn't going to be working, but alas, Pat Sajak appeared on my television screen. Pixelated at first, but now his spray tan is showing up very clearly.

7:43pm: Wheel of Fortune is rigged and I hope to one day thoroughly write out my conspiracy theory about it. However, that won't be tonight, as my laptop is at 30% and I want to write out all of my thoughts on both the Bachelorette and After the Final Rose.

8:00pm: I'm back. I just opened my instagram on accident and there was a boomerang of Rachel wearing a "wifey material" shirt but LUCKILY I didn't look at the caption and quickly closed the app. Also the show has started and they are doing a recap of all of the guys. Brian's cheeks are so hard.

Again, Peter says "engagement is marriage" and then Rachel says "I don't know what to do" and "this is devastating" which makes me wonder how much the producer that got her to say that received as a cash bonus (#unreal)

They just put "LIVE" under "The Bachelorette" but can we PLEASE acknowledge that this is NOT live where its taped (LA) and is actually 3 hours EARLIER. If they are going to make this live, they should make this like football completely, not just the "fantasy leagues." They should just start showing this at 5pm on the west coast.

Ohh Rachel is going to be giving "live" commentary on the show??? I'm always going to put "live" in quotation marks now because I am still salty about not actually getting to watch the show live.

8:05pm: Chris Harrison just said Eric's name last when listing the guys out, which makes me think that HE DIDN'T WIN but also maybe he DID WIN and they are just trying to throw me/us off!!!

8:05pm: These time stamps are starting to make me look desperate. I already have all these thoughts and it's only been 5 minutes? Alright. I'm going to chill out a bit and only write things when something actually funny comes to mind.

8:43pm: Nothing interesting has happened still...

8:45pm: Chris Harrison said its ROSE CEREMONY TIME! Nope, its Rachel in bed with Brian, eating strawberries. "Chemistry is hotter than ever" is a quote that Brian just said. He is truly lame.

8:51pm: WOW, so Eric is out. Honestly shocked but not really because Rachel was making it too obvious that she was thinking about sending Peter home. But SERIOUSLY BRIAN??????? I actually don't care about watching this anymore.

8:54pm: Every rose ceremony is a DIRECT threat at Peter. She is testing him.

8:56pm: Is she really going to pick Brian???????????

9:48pm: OMG i am LIVING for Rachel and Peter's fight right now. This is a real fight. She wants him to do something that he doesn't want to do, but he's saying he will do it for her, but she doesn't want him to do it for her she wants him to do it because he wants to!!!!! That is approximately 89% of any fights that I get into with Andrew.

9:49pm: "GO FIND SOMEONE YOU WILL HAVE A MEDIOCRE LIFE WITH" - Peter, and me to my ex-boyfriend in college

9:51pm: Just saw Rachel slip her tongue into Peter's mouth.

"It's not going to change your mind, you're just going to feel pressured to do it" I FEEL U RACH

9:53pm: Peter takes off his sweater to wipe his tears.

9:56pm: "I CRIED MY EYELASHES OFF" is the new black tear from the Hills

9:56pm: Wait Peter is backstage? So that was it? BRYAN WINS?????? This is truly some of the worst producing I've ever seen. So Peter doesn't get to pick out a ring and get dumped outside of a limo??????

10:07pm: Rachel is telling Peter this show isn't for him because he "needs more time," she's trying as hard as she can from blocking him from becoming the Bachelor

10:16pm: "I walked past her eyelashes for two days" - Peter; "I am SHOOK" - Me

10:17pm: I am truly hoping Rachel is going to pull a Jason Mesnick right now.

10:25pm: Do I care about watching this anymore? Chris Harrison desperately attempted to keep people watching acting like the viewers think they know what's going to happen but they don't actually know.  However, if #3 and #2 have already been brought out for closure, and Rachel has already said she's engaged, what other option is there?

10:26pm: They are truly rushing through this montage of Bryan picking out the ring, so maybe something else is happening.

10:28pm: It's too windy. This seems like a bad omen for them and they should lean into it. The wind is actually like a third character in this scene right now. Bryan's speech is a total snoozefest and there's no way ANYONE is into this.

Also Bryan used the words "chemistry bomb" in his love speech, soooooo......

"Do you understand how long i've waited to hear those words?" - Bryan; the answer is literally like 8 weeks.

Bryan is yelling "show them that rock!" AS IF HE PAID FOR IT???? HE'S A CHIROPRACTOR

10:40pm: OK I would show them that rock too. It is glistening.

10:48pm: Chris Harrison just asked Rachel "when did you know" and I am truly impressed she just made up a story other than "when Peter said no"

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